Don't regret spending the entire friday whiling my time away, i really Love my classmates and friends (: though life often doesn't let us stop to enjoy these moments enough.

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Dad is finally coming home for good ((:

I could leap around and cry tears of joy. After waiting for the past 5, nearly 6 years. When the initial 2years dragged on further till now. 6 years, though we've gotten used to it and learnt to get on with life, there's just this lingering absence in the house. And no matter how we've all tried our utmost, it has never been the same since dad left. We haven't been complete, mum has never had a stress free day where she could be not worried about anything, and her paranoia increasing exponentially with his increasing absence. Growing up without him around, having to summarize my life in a few sentences during those short (and costly) phonecalls. And it's just been difficult in a way that isn't really tangible, but it just is for all of us. Like dad holds the helm here and there's nothing to fear with him around. And finally dad's coming home!

Though pay's less in Singapore and working conditions are not as good, we'll make it through together as a family. I just hope that we all remain as together as those times we spent in those 2 weeks when dad comes back to Singapore for break, and not take his moving back for granted. It's just too easy to forget what you have, until it's gone. Must resolve to never forget how much all these things mean to me.

Thank you, Jesus, for all the grace you've given to me, and to our family (:

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stupid appetite swings, last week i was a total pig and now i can't stomach anything. again.

school's starting to get better. at least i feel like i'm surviving now, albeit barely. i still ask stupid questions which make me feel dumb, especially in math. trying to smile more often and talk to people despite wanting to hide in a corner alone and die. i feel so grumpy when i don't get all the sleep i want.   

we can do anything if we set our hearts to doing them. must always remember that. i need to find back that strength i had back in sn, especially in sec3 when i was struggling to handle everything that i was going on. i know i can do this.  

i just had a really miserable day D: -throws myself on the floor and start wailing loudly-

i wanted to catch the band's performance during stnicks open house at 9am, but i only woke up at 8 (which is quite an achievement, i slept at 1!). threw on decent clothes and made a mad rush to school, wild hair and all but i still missed it. hung around for abit discussing with the teachers on new banner and talking to the juniors. the reds are still as shy as ever, they refuse to speak to me. i got about 2 words out of them. even i wasn't that bad in sec1! managed to watched the one at 11am though. i saw weiyun and alana there! had to leave for church, took the train in the wrong direction, had to train back and ran from the mrt station to church cos i was horribly late. fled before service even ended to go for vj rehearsal, and when i reached everyone was alrd done and going home D:< ahh well. sat around at the bus stop waiting for the sister to reply. decided to go to sitex fair at expo but she was still at home. so i trained to the airport to wait for her. walked around like a lost sheep scourging for food. sat at the fountain and ate bread. and did i mention up till this point in time i hadn't had anything to eat since the previous night?! horror horror. sister arrived, trained to expo, got squashed by a horendous crowd. like it was, really terrifying. sister got speakers and i got headphones, we didn't get the macbook in the end. trained back to the airport and drove home. realised that my headphones wouldn't fit over my big head (and it made me look like an alien).


i met a funny guy at the sitex fair. he was saying to his wife, "see, i told you it would be so crowded already. tmr you must buy me coffee bean to make up for making me come with you". and when i went to crystal jade bakery to get bread the first time, ate it, still felt hungry and went back for more bread, the cashier asked me astonished-ly, "huh, why are you still hungry?!".


the only good part of today was that we went to royal sporting house at night and i got new shoes (vans!) and stuff! early christmas presents from mum, hoorah!


i feel awfully tired now. my dear whites greys reds, if you're reading this, well done for today. yall really improved loads since i last heard and we (the greens) are really proud of all of you. we thought yall would die (sorry) without the greens, but yall've been doing so well even after we're gone. i know how hard you've all tried, ignore what ms sia says (selective listening!) about how our section is lousy and not improving or not practicing/working hard cos i know yall really do. and i know yall will keep improving, there's so much more yall are capable of achieving. keep working at it, don't give up. stay strong, ily.

i think this is the longest post i've done in a long long time.
ahhhh i need sleep. wonderful, glorious sleep.